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Monday, November 7, 2016

The Best Laid Plans Go Awry Due to Flying Pumpkins

You ever have one of those stretches of time where everything is just kind of going swimmingly?  Nothing is really going wrong, nothing is exceptional but everything is going fairly well.  And the second that you recognize this fact, that's usually when it comes crashing down on my case, it literally came crashing down on me in the shape of a pumpkin falling from the sky.

I had just finished telling my therapist how I had just realized that nothing had gone wrong for a while.  I had been going on some fairly decent dates.  Work was alright.  My Scotland trip planning was complete.  I was almost done saving for Scotland.  Weight was coming off.  My running pace was increasing.  One of my best friends had moved back to Washington after YEARS of living on the opposite side of the country from me.  My medications were keeping the mood swings under control (except for the anxiety).  Nothing.  Was.  Wrong.  And that was wrong.  I felt like I couldn't breathe because I could feel that ominous black cloud behind me just waiting for me to let my guard down.  Apparently, it didn't need to wait for me to let my guard down.  It was totally okay with engulfing me even though I was expecting it.

My friend had invited me to go to a Halloween party with her (I was a giraffe in a tutu...I'm 5'9, it's kind of a given I'd be a giraffe) and I had agreed.  My friend who had just moved back was supposed to go with us but bailed at the last minute (thank goodness).  I had volunteered to drive us to said party and as we are driving at a whopping 10 mph on Interstate 5 under an overpass, we hear a deafening bang and my jaw hits the floor.  My mind goes blank as my friend starts asking me if I'm okay and this odd smell reaches my nose.  It's familiar but I can't quite place it.  My illogical brain's first thought is "did someone just shoot at us?!"  Yes, illogical but, yes, it really was that loud.  Thankfully, my friend snapped me back to reality by saying "Dude!  Someone threw a pumpkin at your car!" and just like that, I remember where I remember that smell from.  I turn around and my entire rear window is missing and there is glass and pieces of pumpkin everywhere.  If anyone had been sitting in the back seat, there could have been some serious injuries.  We met up with a very nice state patrol officer who took some photos but politely told me that they couldn't do shit for me.

Though this was possibly the first and only flying pumpkin incident off this particular overpass, this is by no means the only case of vandalism from this overpass.  Over the last month, there have been numerous incidents of rocks and bricks being thrown from this overpass.  And thus I maintain that I truly don't get people.  Is this fun?!  If so, how?!  How is it entertaining to cause damage and grief to another human being?  Do they not realize how much money and time this eats up?  Let alone how much stress it causes?  Or even worse, how much pain they could possibly physically inflict on someone?  Without insurance, this minimal amount of damage would cost me almost $2,500 to repair.  For 3 seconds of their entertainment.  To whoever did this: I hope it was worth it and if karma really is a bitch, one day, you can experience exactly the same kind of fear and frustration that you cause others.

Hopefully, your travels are safer than mine,